We recently conducted an Authentic Personal Branding program for eighteen women participants.  I have facilitated several all women workshops in the past and there is no question in my mind that a different dynamic arises within cohesive groups.  The APB program is especially deep and introspective, so this particular program lead to a few significant insights.  I would like to share them here:

  • Each one of us has a unique and notable story.

There is drama, there is tragedy; there are moments of weakness and moments of strength.  But each of us has traversed a remarkable journey and there is much that can be appreciated and assimilated by investing some time in examining the story thus far.

  • Even if we have rationalized the challenges and learned from them, the emotional pain may still be real and unaddressed

In a world which has largely been favoring the mind over the heart, we have often learned to see the positive in difficult situations, derive strength and even grow from them.  However, there remains the emotional baggage that may often be suppressed or denied.  Frequently, the very notion of  lasting emotion is considered a weakness that is to be denied at any cost.  The truth is that the pain often continues to reside in our energy, in our body and in our sub-conscious minds.   It has to be acknowledged and accepted  – for it to dissolve or be released.  Women, especially, have an inherent tendency to feel guilt and excessive responsibility for all those whom they care about.   They also have a tendency to repress their anger and end up blaming themselves and falling into a spiral of self criticism.

  • In our drive to be ‘superwoman’, we stop giving ourselves permission to be human.

I have had countless sessions with women attempting to be the best possible spouse/partner, mother, daughter, sibling, aunt, sister-in-law, housewife – while simultaneously building a perfect, high achieving role in their chosen career.  They try to live up to idealized expectations that are completely unrealistic.  This leads to immense suffering and agonizing over all the ‘failures’ in their own and others’ eyes – with the bottom line being that no matter what they do – “they aren’t good enough”.  This particular area requires a change in attitude and understanding in families and society in general.    But the change has to start with the concerned individual.  Until they define their own aspirations with more clarity, compassion and realism, they won’t be able to enroll any support.

  • In an effort to prove themselves in a male dominated corporate world, women often perceive their feminine traits as a weakness.

Who we are – is our natural strength.  The moment we try to be someone that we are not, we are moving away from our essence and inherent advantage.  More and more research and leadership models are beginning to emphasize the need to focus on emotional intelligence, heart connect, empathy, engagement and authenticity.  And yet, its not only the men, but also the women – who have lost touch with the benefits of a caring attitude.  In the war against the glass ceiling, heart walls have crept up.  And a heart wall creates a divide in relation to everyone.  No-one benefits.

If we wish to see a world in which everyone can shine as their whole and complete self – we all need to  balance the yin and yang qualities within each of us.  People who are courageous and vulnerable  are the ones who have high self worth.  They can be authentic and passionate because they are willing to be whole-hearted.  This propels their drive and energy to go out there and actualize their highest potential.    A smooth, balanced interplay between the masculine and feminine traits inherent within us will enable  each of us to emerge in full strength.  And this applies to the women just as much as it applies to the men.

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